Not gonna say much about this. Here it is. Ten costumes ideas, for dogs.
The Dinosaur. Especially popular with undersized canines with a poor understanding of actual relative size
The one time all year when people can run around in a costume and get candy–or green-chili popsicle for us cool people. It’s nearly here. The question is always, “What should I be?” The answer is simple. Be badass. Just like all the rest of the time.
Here some strategies to keep in mind when selecting your badass costume for 2012–or for any other year.
Strategy #1: No costume
If one is badass enough, no costume is needed. Costumes are play-acting, they reveal who people wish they were. If one is badass, what more is there? Why would you want to be anything else? People should dress up as you!
Strategy #2: A Legendary Badass
What do you want to be? A Legendary Badass, of course! Pick one of the legends of badassary and go with it.
Strategy #3: The Opposite
This is a debated strategy, and one that is not easily pulled off, but it can be done. Pick a costume that is the polar opposite of badass. Try something pink, or frilly, or even Urkel-esk. If you try this one, please share it with us.
Strategy #4: The Awesome Object
Try being something cool instead of someone. This might be a sword, a gun, a brick wall or other inanimate object that might be classified as badass or at least be a popular accessory of the badass.
Strategy #5: The Personified Wit
Are you a smartass too? Them maybe you should try to bring your rapier wit into existence as a costume. There are infinite possibilities here, but a possibility that I’ve seen done it the”Blue Screen Of Death.” No the most witty example, but it give the idea. A phrase or idea or action, clearly implied by a physical outfit.
Strategy #6: The Badass Beast
This is again, a large and vague category. It’s defined exactly as it sounds. Pick some sort of badass animal, be it real or fictional, and go with it.
Strategy #7: The Car
I would like to see this one done. There are a lot of cool and badass cars out there (mostly from the muscle car era). Throw on a bumper and some headlights and hit the streets. (And send a picture!)
Strategy #8: The Experiment
As a badass, you may be entitled to you own opinion. In this case, use your own understanding of badassary and come up with a purely original costume concept.
Wow, I’ve got to file this movie under “Surprisingly Good Movie Starring Steven Seagal.” I know, hard to believe, right? The only other contender I can think of right now it “Fire Down Below.” I think it was even more of a surprise though. “Under Siege” was looking real promising as soon as a maniacal Tommy Lee Jones started running around.
Overall it was an enjoyable movie that had enough fighting, explosions, and Tommy Lee Jones to be pretty badass. Even though the hero was played by Steven Seagal, I would not defame this movie by calling it a Steven Seagal movie. Rather, it goes in that sparsely populated category of “Movie That Happens To Have Steven Seagal In It , But Is Definitely Not A Steven Seagal Movie.”
Here’s the score (possible 10 points for each*)
*except for Badassary which counts for half the total score. (100 pts possible) Got to keep our priorities straight!
Martial Arts: 6
Dialogue Quality: 6
Dialogue Frequency: 7
Star Power: 5
(56+75)/2=65.5 Badassary.com score for “Under Siege” is 65.5/100
Spoiler Alert! Stop reading now if you don’t want to know how the movie goes.
There’s a big, badass boat called the USS Missouri. The cook is a young, fit, and thin Casey Ryback, played by Steven Seagal, the Captain is a likeable old coot, and the XO is a very blonde, very Gary Busey. With me so far? Any guesses?
Ryback wants to cook up some Bouillabaisse for the Captain’s birthday. But the XO says he’s bringing in a chopper with food, a band, and Miss July 89. The Admiral wants a party. Since the cook protests, he gets locked in the fridge while the party commences.
Meanwhile, the band plays on, led by a long-haired, leather-jacketed Tommy Lee Jones. He is of course only a musician in this movie. Not.
Who’s the highest ranking officer on the room? Show yourself. Be recognized. So that you can be shot. The ship is soon in the control of one deadeye musician and his band of mercenaries. But the cook is still in the freezer…
Of course, Ryback escapes, kills a couple of baddies and leaves a makeshift explosive device in the microwave. He just happens to have a special Navy Seal sat phone in his apron, which he uses to call the guys in a dark underground room who are planning to sink the ship he’s on. They tell him not to bother the bad guys, Seals are on the way. They, of course, never make it. He, of course, ignores their advice.
He gives the helpless damsel who hates guns a gun and proceeds to find some more baddies to shoot at. Along the way, he finds a few stranded misfits that the bad guys forgot to round up or kill. These characters die for dramatic effect and teach him how to load and fire 20″ shells at a supposedly sunken North Korean submarine. They suppose no more after a direct hit.
Tommy Lee’s ears are bleeding and he launches a couple of nukes at Honolulu. Soon after putting his leather jacket back on, Ryback engages him in a nice little knife fight. After Ryback figures out that he can’t stab his opponent through the thick leather, he scratches him a few times and then shoves a knife through his brain and then fries it in the radar for good measure.
The missiles are stopped, Case Ryback wears a full uniform, and the now badass Miss 89 gets a kiss.